DAY #...oh forget it...! 30 Days of THANKS has now just turned into DAYS OF THANKS...who needs to keep track :)
EVERYDAY since August 30th, 2013, I've been THANKING the good Lord for the man I call HUBBIN'. Really, I've been thanking God for James since we went on our first date, January 7th, 2011. This man is NOT what I EVER thought I'd marry. Fall in love with. Or heck, even date! But alas, HE'S THE ONE and I SAID YES!
I am beloved.
It feels arrogant and conceited to say but, it's true. I am SO LOVED. I AM LOVED BY A MAN NAMED JAMES. I used to look at couples...my parents, grandparents, friends...and thought I knew enough from simply observing to recognize and accept what 'being in love' must be like.
Boy was I wrong.
Five years ago, the greatest example set before me was shattered and I saw, for perhaps the very first time, what LOVE really was: a choice. Not feelings. Not grand gestures. Not all the right words. Not flowers and date nights. LOVE is commitment, despite what you feel. LOVE is service, often without recognition or reward. LOVE is being honest, even if it rocks the boat. LOVE is all about the little things.
Seems I had seen and been around all the WRONG ways to love and chalked that up to being 'the norm'. That's when James came into the picture and broke the mold! The love he has for me...even amidst the annoyances and frustrations...seriously AMAZES me. I never EVER thought I could be loved so much. And he shows me and tells me EVERYDAY.
Granted, I'm still in the 'honeymoon' phase. Which definitely helps me see my glass half full :) But I'm very aware of reality. I know looks fade, expectations go unfulfilled and as much as it kills me, even if I kNOW I'm right, he may still win. But then LOVE isn't about winning...or about who's wrong or who's right. It's not about keeping score. It's NOT fiair. And it's NOT 50/50. LOVE, I've graciously learned, is 100/100. You give your all, I give my all.
And I've been given HIS all.
Doesn't mean James is perfect. TRUST ME! Nor am I....that's FOR SURE! But it's his love that REMINDS me to not sweat the petty stuff. To not focus on what he ISN'T but what he IS. Not where he falls short but where he SHINES. It's this LOVE I have from a man named James that keeps me EVER so thankful.
2 comments:
Enjoying your blog, your love story and your thankfulness : )
Hi Caryn, Congratulations on your wedded bliss! I hear you, girl. When I was married, I was freshly minted from NU, full of ideas and dreams. Then life happens. Loved ones get sick, babies come early...frail. But God is greater and grace is everything. Remembering why we fell in love, with Jesus, with our spouse...it's essential. From one of my fav songs: if Grace is an ocean, we're all sinking. -Asha
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